All Too Well
by timewasting101
Summary: AU: DS working their way back to each other


Eyes glistening, Dan stared at her. He couldn't believe that this was supposed to be it for them. That they wouldn't end up together.

"So you're choosing him?" he said, watching as she refused to meet his gaze.

Serena looked over the balcony of the Palace, shaking her head in an attempt to erase the memories running through her mind. Meeting Dan for the first time at the reception. He was so awkward then and she had been completely in control. With his wide eyes scarcely believing that she was talking to him, he had looked at her with such amazement and wonder that she had become intrigued by him. When he picked her up for their first date, it was the same. In his eyes she wasn't this damaged, spoilt, rich kid, and it made her want to be better, and be the kind of girl this naive boy from Brooklyn deserved. Just like that, the power had shifted.

She'd never wanted him to look at her differently, and she'd been afraid that he's finally see her clearly and realise that she was a mess and he could do so much better. But even after finding out about her past with Nate, her past with guys in general, and meeting her messed up family, he had still shown up at cotillion, like Prince Charming. Sweeping her off her feet and making her feel like she could never fall down.

Everything had changed since that perfect night, they'd lied to each other, broken up, dated other people, dated each others' best friends. But even after that she had still believed they might have a chance. That was until he had left. Left New York, left his family, his friends and left her without so much as a word for a year and a half. Then Portugal happened and she had gotten her hopes up just to get broken all over again. It was on the flight back, after hours alone to think, that she had made the decision to give up on him, to finally move on and not look back.

And it had worked, she was happy, and about to get married to a man who loved her. So despite the memories plaguing her mind, Serena stared over the balcony knowing what she had to do.

"Yes" she whispered

"I don't believe you" Dan replied, stepping forward towards her and reaching out to the sides of her head and force her to look at him.

"I love you," he said peering down at her, both of their eyes filled with tears, "and I know you love me too" choking up, Dan pleaded with her to change her mind, "Leave with me,"

"I can't" Serena said softly.

"I'm sorry . . . for everything. I know it's my fault but I'm here now. I love you and I'm ready. You can't choose him." Dan replied.

"It's not a choice, Dan." her voice hardened as she finally found the strength to step away from him.

"You were the one who walked away. When I was there and I was ready, you said no, so I moved on. And I'm happy now." She said as tears began to run down her face, "He made me happy after you made me cry"

Dan could only watch on helplessly as Serena said her piece. He couldn't disagree with her, she was right, he had pushed her away in his search for something to make him feel whole again. It had taken him a long time to realise that he'd been running from what he needed, afraid to open his heart to her. And now, looking at her cry he realised the damaged he had caused and as much as he loved her, he couldn't blame her now for pushing him away.

"You're right Dan. I do love you, and I think a part of me is always going to love you. But somewhere along the way we just started hurting one another and we haven't stopped. So I can't be with you." Serena continued, her voice growing in determination with every word.

"If you really love me, you've got to let me go." With those words Serena turned and walked away leaving Dan standing there, wiping away tears of his own.

-DS-

"Where'd you go," Blair said as Serena entered the room, "I was worried sick. You're supposed to resting . . . " Blair trailed off as she saw Serena's red eyes from her crying.

"Sorry," Serena said trying to compose herself, "I wasn't planning on stepping out and not for this long anyway."

"Are you okay," Blair said

"Yeah, I'm fine, I just need to get a good night's sleep then I'll be all set" Serena put on what she thought was a brave smile but Blair could see right through her.

"No you're not. Talk to me. What happened?" she questioned

Serena knew Blair wouldn't let it go so she decided to fess up, " I was with Dan," at seeing Blair's eyes widen she backtracked, "No not like that, we just talked"

"That still doesn't make me any less worried. The two of you talking, alone, at this hour, definitely does not bode well for tomorrow especially when you come back here in tears," Blair countered trying to force Serena to reveal more.

"Honestly, everything's fine, you don't need to worry about tomorrow,"

"Well I don't believe that for a second," Blair replied.

"Look, we had some things that we needed to sort before the wedding and we did. Dan and I are done. I told him I didn't want to be with him anymore, that we aren't good for one another, so it's done." At this Serena began to make her way to her room.

"You don't need to worry about me. I'll be okay, I just need to go to bed"

Blair watched as Serena shut her door. She had been waiting for something like this to happen and for Dan to make his move. Except she'd expected the whole wedding to fall apart. Surprisingly it hadn't and she could only now hope that Dan would give up and that they could both move on and be happy.

-DS-

Dan didn't know how long he'd been standing there but judging by the looks the concierge was giving him he figured it had been a while when he felt a presence beside him.

"Hey," he looked around to find Jenny next to him, "I'm guessing things didn't go how you planned then" she said.

"What was your first clue," he replied pathetically chuckling to himself, "the fact that I'm standing here alone. Or the fact that I am seriously considering jumping off this balcony."

"That's not funny" Jenny looked at him, he seemed like a broken man. Putting a comforting hand on her shoulder she continued, "it's okay to be hurt"

"No, it's not, because it's my fault. But you're right, that wasn't funny. Although what else am I supposed to do? How does one cope when the love of your life tells you that you aren't good for her? That loving you caused her pain and because of that she's going to marry, and commit the rest of her life to another guy" Dan said looking his sister right in the eye as she couldn't find any answer to his questions, "That's what I thought"

Jenny couldn't find any words to heal the pain she could see in his eyes. Here was her big brother, the guy who had looked out for her for as long as she could remember and now that he needed her she didn't know what to say to make it better for him. She wished Serena had changed her mind about the wedding, but she had see Serena after Dan had left and it wasn't pretty, so she couldn't blame her for turning him down. Even though she also knew that despite the fact that they caused each other the most pain, they also made each other happiest. Dan wasn't ready to hear that though so she settled for a tried and tested method of drowning one's sorrows.

"Let's go to the bar," she said, grabbing him and leading him down the stairs.

"What?" Dan said, shocked as he was dragged along.

"We are going to go to the bar. Have a drink and you're going to put this out of your mind"

"No . . . we can't do that."

"Why not" Jenny stopped to look at him awaiting an answer to her question.

Dan shuffled his feet, "You're my little sister, I can't take you drinking"

"Well that's good then," she said, grabbing him, Jenny continued to lead him to the bar, ignoring any of his protests, "Cos you're not taking me. I'm taking you."

-DS-

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the storyline**

Thank you for reading, any reviews are welcomed. By the way, I do intend to continue my other DS fic but I've had creativity issues, I'm not a great writer.

If there are any Taylor Swift fans you might recognise the title from the song off her new album RED. I've had that on repeat for a while and I think it applies to DS


End file.
